January 2026

– I don’t know how much longer we can keep paying off these building inspectors!

– What really happened to Tinkerbell

– I lost my keys.
– It’s in your jeans.
– Don’t you dare to bring my family into this!

– They don’t fire you. They just slowly shrink your cubicle until you can’t fit into it.

– Well, by golly you may be right. I think that is a rectal thermometer.

– C’mon man. Embrace technology.

– Why you watch them cookin’ shows when you know your cookin’ ain’t good?
– Same reason you watch porn.

– Walter, have you been drinking?

– I’ve hidden your clothes until you pay your last bill.