Short Jokes

– “Don’t you ever feel the need to take a bath?”, said doctor to patient.
– “I feel it, doctor, but I can control my feelings.”

All over the world, alcoholism is a disease.
Only in Russia they ask you:
– Why don’t you drink? Are you sick?

Mom, I don’t like cheese with holes! – says son.
– You eat the cheese, but leave the holes – replied mom.

An inmate came to the prison library looking for a book. The librarian answers him:
– We don’t have that book, but we have the author!

What would happen if fleas glowed like firefly?
Some people would look like as Christmas tree!

Husband and wife are arguing and she says to him:
– You can’t slam the door as hard as I can oversalt your lunch!

My ex just texted me:
– I wish you were here.
He always sends it to me when he passes the cemetery.

If you are afraid that you will gain weight, drink a glass of brandy before a meal. It eliminates the feeling of fear.

What does a dog say when he sees a Christmas tree?
– They finally put a light on my toilet!