Short Jokes

I’m at that age where I immediately press the “ Recover Password” button without even trying to remember it.

If mosquitoes drank fat instead of blood, they would be precious.

A newspaper is a unique thing: it’s a tablecloth, a fly swatter, a fan, toilet paper, a hat, an umbrella, and you can even read it.

– My toothbrush cleans teeth in hard-to-reach places. What about yours?
– I don’t have teeth in hard-to-reach places.

This world is very strange: if the state finds oil on your land, it belongs to the state, and if thay finds marihuana, it belongs to you…

His wife left him because of drinking.
He gave up alcohol because he no longer has a reason to drink.

Wife: Why did you come home half drunk?
Husband: It’s not my fault … I ran out of money…

Doctor, I’m coughing and breathing hard.
– Do you smoke cigarettes?
– I smoke, but it doesn’t help!

Doctors have two diagnoses:
– It’s nothing.
– What have you been waiting for until now!