Jokes

The man wants to rent an apartment and the owner shows him the kitchen:
– What is this big stain on the wall? The man asks.

Husband and wife talk after lunch:
– My dear, where did you find this excellent recipe for preparing mushrooms?

A mother cuts her son’s hair, and he resists and shouts:
– I don’t want a haircut like dad! …

Husband says to wife:
– Eh my love, if it were 2 cm bigger, I would be a king.
Wife replies:

A man is driving a car and sees a character hitchhiking. Pick it up and keep driving. Somewhere during the ride he jokingly asks:

The subway car is packed. A man says to the woman standing next to him:
– There’s a handrail on the left you can hold onto.

– Dear, what’s for lunch?
– IKEA sandwich!
– What is it like…?
– All the ingredients are in the fridge, just put it together!

Two neighbors are talking:
– Your dog stole my slippers!
– Come on, please, I saw him when he came back, he came barefooted!

A young woman presented to her husband the first cake she made. The husband tried it frowning and barely swallowed a bite.
– What did you put in this cake?