Jokes

Husband is waiting for wife at the train station and when she got off the train, husband just says hello to her and keep silence.

Mother-in-law tells to the daughter-in-law at the wedding:
– You know, Daughter, your wedding dress is not so nice.

A boy sends an SMS to a girl:
– I am asking the user to marry me.
Gets a response:

– I love blueberry pies, so my eyesight is 100%.
– And I love mushroom pies, so my eyesight is 150%.

A man was swimming in the sea, swam behind a buoy and suddenly heard a voice from nowhere:
–    Plus two or minus two?

2 friends are sitting on the bench, smoking and drinking. Says one:
– “Brother, as I am waisted, everything doubles in my eyes.”

Husband and wife bought a wardrobe. After two days, the woman calls the craftsman to look at the closet because it was creaking so much. …

A waiter in a restaurant reads the menu to a guest:
You know, the specialty of our restaurant is snails.

Neighbor, can you lend me your drill tonight?
Of course, what are you planning to do?