2026

– Hey. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

– I think John is having an affair with my wife.
– What makes you think that?
– Hi is so miserable lately…

– How many times do I have to tell you? It’s a not-stick pan!

– I watched a guy do 50 pushups today. Do you think you could that?
– Absolutely, in fact I’m pretty sure I could’ve watched him do 100 pushups.

– Let’s just say he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed…
– I’m not supposed to be!!

– Why is it called beauty sleep when you wake up looking like a troll?

– It’s about your missing husband, ma’am. You should prepare for the worst.
– OMG! You mean he’s coming back?!

– Hallo, I’m here for a job interview.
– Great, and do you have experience?
– Yes! This is my 20th interview.